Dirk’s Five – Wierdos with Beards

Beard-less, Chin-less, Lip-less Socio-path

Bearded, Lipped, David Cameron

One important factor marks Raymond Lemorne from THE VANISHING as a psychotic wierdo: a neatly trimmed beard.

Neat beards are the mark of strangeness. If you need any proof that someone who spends time paying attention to their facial hair is not to be trusted, then watch an episode of DEAL OR NO DEAL. In the movies, a beard is a device to indicate one or all of the following:

There has been a passage of time;
There is a character actor playing a part that they haven’t played before;
The character is a psycho.

It’s this final group that Is the most fascinating and has inspired this week’s FRIDAY FIVE…


1) General Zod in SUPERMAN 2 (1980) off-sets his natty, Kelly Marie inspired black jump-suit with the regulation ‘evil alien genius’ Guy Fawkes, boot-polish chin-strap.

2) Hans Gruber in DIE HARD (1988) follows Zod’s lead with perfectly formed face-fur with a bit more shouting and blow-drying.

3) Ordelle Robbie in JACKIE BROWN (1997) it brings a whole new perspective to neatness with its single braid marking a fastidious nutter with big guns.

4) Jack Torrance in THE SHINNING (1980) all that shaving makes Jack a dull boy.


5) Joaquin Phoenix in I’M STILL HERE (2010) this is an example of all three modes of beardage in film – it shows that there is a passage of time, he’s playing a part that he hasn’t played before, he’s a clearly a psycho – its a mock-umentary about a man disappearing up his own arse quicker than Stephen Moffat in the new series of Dr Who.

There must be older beards …

One response to “Dirk’s Five – Wierdos with Beards

  1. Pingback: Starburst Memories: Gratuitous Fantasy Females Sequel | Dirk Malcolm's World of Film·

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