Dirk’s Five – Creepy Kids

THE INNOCENTS proves that, if you want to create terror in your audience then there is nothing better than to appeal to their innate pedophobia. There’s something wicked about the expressionless face of a minor, and film-makers have used them judiciously throughout film history.

Kids are like farts. You can cope with your own. Here are some to avoid:

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

1) The Grady Twins in THE SHINING (1980)

How do you make kids four times more creepy? Make them twins (see The Cheeky Girls for details). RED RUM, RED RUM, they are not only creepy, they are good for racing tips too.

2) Toshio in JU-ON (The Grudge) (2002)

The ghost that keeps on giving … the sequels keep coming.

3) Oskar in DIE BLECHTROMMEL (THE TIN DRUM) (1979)

A walking, screaming metaphor for the German nation and the scariest drummer since Animal in the Muppets.

4) The Midwich Cuckoos in THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED

Meet the neighbours – but avoid the remake.

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING

5) Carol Anne Freeling in POLTERGEIST (1982)

Is she creepy, or is she just a bit annoying? Linda Blair for family viewing.

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