In 1995 to mark the 100th anniversary of the birth of cinema, the Vatican published a list of 45 (for some reason) “great” films, simply titled “Some Important Films”. And we’re fond of a list or two here at the Dirk Malcolm Alternative. Perhaps they got tired of all the horror movie posters using the tagline “The film the Vatican doesn’t want you to see!” and decided to tell us exactly what it is they do want us to see. The films were grouped into three categories, ‘Religion’, ‘Values’ and ‘Art’.

It don matter to the Jesús

RELIGION

ANDREI RUBLEV (Tarkovsky, USSR, 1966)
BABETTE’S FEAST (Axel, Denmark, 1987)
BEN-HUR (Wyler, US, 1959)
THE FLOWERS OF ST. FRANCIS (Rossellini, Italy, 1950)
FRANCESCO (Cavani, Italy/West Germany, 1989)
THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST. MATTHEW (Pasolini, Italy, 1966)
LA VIE ET LA PASSION DE JESUS CHRIST (Nonguet & Zecca, France, 1903)
A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS (Zinnemann, UK, 1966)
THE MISSION (Joffé, UK, 1986)
MONSIEUR VINCENT (Cloche, France, 1947)
NAZARIN (Buñuel, Mexico, 1958)
ORDET (Dreyer, Denmark, 1955)
THE PASSION OF JOAN OF ARC (Dreyer, France, 1928)
THE SACRIFICE (Tarkovsky, Sweden/UK/France, 1986)
THERESE (Cavalier, France, 1986)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this is the most unappetising of the three lists. Working your way through this lot over a weekend would be like trying to eat a packet of dry Jacob’s cream crackers. While there are obvious moments of greatness on there (Rublev, St Matthew, Joan of Arc) you get the feeling they were struggling a bit if they had to pick the ponderous THE MISSION, two Tarkovsky nominations including his final film THE SACRIFICE which doesn’t really hold a candle to his earlier work, and two films by Dreyer. The birth of cinema is acknowledged with LA VIE ET LA PASSION…, the earliest film on the list.

VALUES

AU REVOIR LES ENFANTS (Malle, France/West Germany, 1988)
THE BICYCLE THIEF (De Sica, Italy, 1948)
THE BURMESE HARP (Ichikawa, Japan, 1956)
CHARIOTS OF FIRE (Hudson, UK, 1981)
THE DECALOGUE (Kieslowski, Poland, 1989)
DERSU UZALA (Kurosawa, USSR/Japan, 1975)
GANDHI (Attenborough, UK/India, 1982)
INTOLERANCE (Griffith, US, 1916)
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (Capra, US, 1946)
ON THE WATERFRONT (Kazan, US, 1954)
ROME, OPEN CITY (Rossellini, Italy, 1945)
SCHINDLER’S LIST (Spielberg, US/UK/Aus, 1993)
THE SEVENTH SEAL (Bergman, Sweden, 1957)
THE TREE OF WOODEN CLOGS (Olmi, Italy, 1978)
WILD STRAWBERRIES (Bergman, Sweden, 1957)

I came across this list whilst writing about BICYCLE THIEVES (I would point out that they’ve used the incorrect translation of the title slapped on the US release but this list is of course infallible). Its inclusion is surprising since the Vatican actually complained about the film on its release for portraying the church in an uncaring light (specifically they objected to the scene in the church where Bruno accidentally opens the confessional and receives a sharp slap from the priest). Apparently the list was picked by a group of film scholars appointed to the task by the Vatican, but the guiding hand of the church can of course be seen with the selection of INTOLERANCE above the much more fêted but morally reprehensible BIRTH OF A NATION, and DERSU UZALA above, well, any other Kurosawa film. By now we’re beginning to get a bit Italy-heavy, and it looks like they really should’ve employed our “one pick per director” rule. Amateurs.

ART

CITIZEN KANE (Welles, US, 1941)
8½ (Fellini, Italy/France, 1963)
FANTASIA (Various, US, 1940)
LA GRANDE ILLUSION (Renoir, France, 1937)
LA STRADA (Fellini, Italy, 1954)
THE LAVENDER HILL MOB (Crichton, UK, 1951)
THE LEOPARD (Visconti, Italy, 1963)
LITTLE WOMEN (Cukor, US, 1933)
METROPOLIS (Lang, Germany, 1927)
MODERN TIMES (Chaplin, US, 1936)
NAPOLEON (Gance, France, 1927)
NOSFERATU (Murnau, Germany, 1922)
STAGECOACH (Ford, US, 1939)
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (Kubrick, US/UK, 1968)
THE WIZARD OF OZ (Fleming, US, 1939)

Now this is a bit more watchable. Some bold choices here, especially 2001 with its vision of a godless universe, and nice to see some Ealing comedy, though again you suspect that better films such as KIND HEARTS AND CORONETS (1949) were a bit too irreverent for inclusion (even though “I always say my west window has all the exuberance of Chaucer without, happily, any of the concomitant crudities of his period” is the best line spoken by a vicar in any film).

What films might appear if the list was re-drawn today? Something by Terrence Malick perhaps, and of course the spectre of Mel Gibson would threaten to rear its fearful head. Apparently they even approve of Harry Potter now, although “the darkness may disturb younger audiences”, so maybe stick with Mel.