Since Disney purchased the rights to Star Wars and announced that it will be developing more films, there have been daily press releases about how the franchise will develop and grow. Last week there was speculation that Chewbacca is going to make an appearance, thanks to a small ad in an industry magazine looking for someone tall, thick set and hair all over their body.
Disney’s imagineers and profiteers are leaving no stone unturned in their deep-mining of the Star Wars Universe to exploit the creative and financial potential of their new asset. There’s the allure of a Boba Fett feature film as well as a ‘Yoda origin’ story being whisked in development hell. They are the space opera equivalent to Brookside’s DAMON AND DEBBIE.
This month’s edition of STAR WARS INSIDER reminded me that there is a corner of the Star Wars universe that remains unexplored. STAR WARS INSIDER always strikes the right note of irreverent reverence as it is a fan-magazine (featuring news (speculation about the new films), fiction and articles about the expanded universe).
It was the cover of the latest magazine that caught my attention (I can’t think why). Inside, they have a still from the Holiday Special that shows Bea Arthur surrounded by named denizens of the Mos Eisley cantina. I have had the holiday special squeegee cleaned from my mind-eye, but I was sent into a relapse while scanning a copy in WH Smiths. Not even the exhaustive line of toys have dared to explore this area. George Lucas has declared the programme strictly off-canon.
In the the crowd, I spotted the sad features of Myhr Rho – eyes without a face – staring out with his bargain-basement blond wig and realised immediately that he deserves his own movie.
It’s the story of working class life on Tatooine – Mos Eisley Shore, if you will – where Rho is trying to make the best of his life. He is a ‘Sand Person’ who, thanks to an allergy to crape-bandages, is unable to wear the usual masks. He has to spend most of his time in the shade. He works as a bantha circumciser – the credits are poor, but the tips are massive – and he dreams of a day when he can move beyond the stars and discover that his father is an evil genius, with a black bucket on his head.
Benedict Cumberbatch is interested. Carrie Fisher has promised to take a line to sing the theme tune …
- The Death of Decent Fantasy (blokecalleddave.wordpress.com)
- A “love” Letter to JJ Abrams (talknerdytous.com)
- Bring Back Star Wars 1313 (ocarinaoftimenerd.wordpress.com)
- Rovio flings you to the ‘Pork Side’ in Angry Birds Star Wars II (reviews.cnet.com)
- Star Wars characters who won’t get their own spin-off but should #1: Ponda Baba (metro.co.uk)
- Is ‘Star Wars: Episode 7’ Looking to Cast a Wookiee? (news.moviefone.com)
- Disney Confirms Star Wars Standalone Films As ‘Origin Stories’ (thelazygeeks.com)
- Star Wars 1313 Story Reveal – The Boba Fett Game That Never Was (technobuffalo.com)
- STAR WARS Spin-Off Films Will be Origin Stories (geektyrant.com)
- Disney Teases Plans to Move the Star Wars Franchise Forward (thehothspot.com)