Dirk’s Five: Extreme Camping


Daenerys Targaryen called Stormborn, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Khaleesi of the Dothraki, Trueborn Queen of the Andals, Rhoynar, and the First Men, and Lady of the Seven Kingdoms.

Two thirds of The Dirk Malcolm Alternative have packed their bags and headed for the hills for adventures in EXTREME CAMPING.

Yes, it’s time for the annual Village People Fan Convention.


Sorry, it’s that time of the year for a trip to the Lake District for nights under the stars. Extreme Camping is the annual storm-inducing, ankle-breaking, Risk!-playing, walking, talking and drinking extravaganza that brings together friends from all corners of the globe (Ireland?). This year Dom-Dirk is taking Roof-Dirk to Ambleside to join the fun. In preparation, Roof-Dirk has been studying the finer points of the game of Risk! (watch out for those unspoken Alliances  Andy) and Dom has been preparing by watching Vincente Minnelli’s classic, Rom-Com THE LONG, LONG TRAILER (1953) with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz having fun in a caravan.

As for Dirk, I’ll be vicariously following the fun on twitter #extremecamping and watching these films …


1) DELIVERANCE (Boorman, US, 1972)


City boys go wild in the country, “You sure have a pretty mouth.”

A film that perfectly matched the sensibilities of the time. European film meets New Hollywood. On the face of it, this seems to be an old fashioned schlock horror thriller, but Boorman manages to weave a themes about class, ecology, masculinity under crisis and the relationship between the town and the city into a terrifying thrill ride.

2) THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (Myrick, Sanchez, US, 1999)


Students go into the forrest’s of Maryland in search of the legend of the Blair witch. They run around looking for the DAT tapes, blowing snot-bubbles to the camera, as they get more chills than a soggy ground-sheet. It’s a ‘found footage‘ masterpiece that raised the bar of low-fi cinema.

3) SIGHTSEERS (Wheatley, UK, 2012)


Alice Lowe and Steve Oram performed a version of these characters for the comedy circuit, so they appear brilliantly naturalistic and believable. It’s a British twist on the serial-killer lovers on the run that is so familiar in American cinema, but it is Mike Liegh’s NUTS IN MAY (1975) written by The League of Gentlemen.

4) THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK (Spielberg, US, 1997)

The old “what’s that noise?” and silhouette through the canvas routine, usually ends up being little more than a curious cow looking for grass. It’s not a cow.


5) THE GREAT OUTDOORS (Deutch, US, 1988)


I’ve been an apologist for John Hughes previously, but this film (that he wrote and produced) is one of his weaker efforts. John Candy torments Dan Aykroyd while on holiday. The talking racoons have the best lines. Really.



2 responses to “Dirk’s Five: Extreme Camping

    • So true… The most terrifying is probably EDEN LAKE – a version of DELIVERANCE with sink-estate chavs playing the role of banjo-players #shudder#

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